No we are not retired but we did spend the last few days in two really cool towns that are retirement material.  Cool is really the operative word.  Imagine taking Dewey Beach for its party and no need to drive conveniences, mix it with Vail for the mountain and sports available year round with a final ingredient of a west coast surf town like Venice Beach for its laid back surf dudes and weather.  Now you have Baños, a tiny town surrounded by large volcanoes, that attracts adventure thrill seekers from around the world.

baños valley

The type of town where two guys from Chicago visited a few years back and never went home and now own a microbrewery in the vibrant town square, sitting next to a 19th century gothic church and a  hand pulled taffy store.

baños Church

This is definitely a place I would like to return to and would recommend to anyone interested in outdoor sports and finishing the day with a local drink called Canelazo (Naranjilla fruit juice, raw sugar, cinammon, sugar cane liquor).  Hiking, white water rafting, rock climbing, zip-lining, and the most outrageous of all…repelling through waterfalls, are the core sports of Baños but not the only.  We, of course, did none of these because we didn’t plan enough time, hence the need to return. We did, however, visit the local church which houses Ecuadorian paintings all representing miracles that have been performed over the centuries.  We especially liked the image of the Virgin Mary floating over a house while everything else around it burned.  I do believe in miracles, particularly the USA hockey victory over the Russians in the 1980 Olympics .  With clouds rolling in at basically head height, due to our altitude, we finished our tour with a beer at the microbrewery called Stray Dog. I couldn’t make a recommendation without testing out the merchandise first hand.  A handful of couples on vacation would have a blast in this town….hint, hint.

Chicago style beers in Ecuador

Oh yeah, if the extreme sports aren’t enough danger, an active volcano that bellows smoke out of its crater daily sits directly above the town and could blow its top any day like popeye when Bruto hits on Oliveoil.   In a serious eruption, lava could flow over 200 miles so there really would be no chance for survival if this baby blows.  That is basically the distance from D.C. to the beach.  The moral of the story is dont #%€^+ with mother nature.

Hidden, or should I say used to be hidden, in the southern Andes mountain is a small 18th century town of about 400,000 people called Cuenca.  Used to be hidden for two reasons;

1- until1960 the roads were so poor that the city was isolated from the rest of the world,

2- it is the hottest retirement location in the world for expats.

It is estimated that 5,000-10,000 Americans are living in the city.  This is easily understood when the weather year round is between 50-70 degrees, monthly expenses including rent are 2,000 dollars and health care is excellent with European and American trained doctors cost less than 100 dollars per month. (It’s not to late to catch the afternoon flight connecting in Miami).  Cuenca’s cobblestone streets, flower filled plazas and french inspired iron balconies make it a walking paradise for locals and tourist alike.

Cuenca riverfront

Unlike other SA cities Cuenca is safe, we went to dinner last night and felt comfortable walking home.  It took us a long while since I was navigating and got lost.  I kept seeing the same street named “Calle” and ended up walking in circles.  It wasn’t until Linda asked me what street we were on and I said “Calle” and she, being the more advanced Spanish speaker, told me that “Calle” meant “street” in spanish…and every street name noted “Calle” before the actual name.  This was the final straw, I have decided to stop trying to learn the language and go for the universal hand sign approach.  We all know the signs and it’s amazing what you can get done without speaking.  For example:

– Ordering food – just point to what you want on the menu.

– Drinking beers – the hand chug of course.

– How much – the good old finger rub up in the air. Aiirport – hands Flying over.

– I don’t understand – head and shoulders shrug, and if it’s really bad feel free to raise your hands along with the shrug and last but not least

– It’s all good – thumbs up.

Sitting at a cafe yesterday, waiting for our afternoon city tour, a sea of 60 year old white haired Americans rolled in and took over most of the 20 seats. They proceeded to smoke cigars, eat hamburgers and play cards. Like it is not bad enough that all the locals stare at us, I get it we are Gringos, but we couldn’t figure out why the Americans were staring as well. Maybe it was a territory thing and they needed to send us young kids a message. The word Gringo is used positively here…of course it is if these white bread Americans are coming down here and spending all this money.  The origin of Gringo came from the US – Mexican drug wars years back when Mexican cartels would spray paint buildings “green go home” because the US military wore green uniforms – thus, “green go” aka “Gringo”.  In closing, an Interesting circle of life between the US and SA has come to light.  Riddle me this batman. They leave SA and come to America to work, and we work and leave to retire in SA…hmmm not sure exactly why this matters.  So someone smarter than me needs to figure out the impact of this migration.

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”— Hunter S. Thompson

Based on that quote we are off to the Amazon Jungle in search of the worlds largest anaconda and fastest jaguar.